


So Much

by lukeinallhisglory



Series: Poetry [7]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Bisexuality, Crushes, F/F, Free Verse, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 04:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17114183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lukeinallhisglory/pseuds/lukeinallhisglory
Summary: A short poem which is really just my rambling thoughts about the girl I can't stop thinking about





	So Much

**Author's Note:**

> This was honestly so therapeutic in figuring out everything I was feeling, so honestly, I hope you enjoy it but either way it's done its job for me.

I can’t explain exactly what makes her different

I have no eloquent soliloquy

She’s just dimples and dark hair and blue eyes

When she’s near me I can feel it in my chest

A humming, throbbing, excited terror

When she meets my gaze it’s like I’ve never seen a girl before

She is so much more

So much more even than the girl that consumed my life for years

The girl I left thinking I couldn’t be without

And at first, that made me feel so guilty

I confused my feelings for her with missing what I’d had before

But it didn’t take long to figure out it was so much more than that

So much more because she’s _her_

How I felt about her was different than just wanting to feel something for someone

And I don’t have an explanation for why it's her beyond that

 

I genuinely can’t fathom someone breaking up with her

It doesn’t make sense because she is perfect in such an effortless, imperfect way and I don’t get how someone could not notice that

I know she’s probably a lot to handle

But so am I

She has such a presence

But I love that

In fact, I think it's almost a requirement from now on

Has to be impossible to ignore when they're in a room

Has to fill my every thought

Falling asleep

Waking up

 

Something about her makes me want to start making plans

For us, but also for myself

I never want to let excuses, anxiety, fear, slow me down again

When I think about her it’s fifty percent cuddling in public and fifty percent getting my hand inside her pants

I want to get my hands on her

Which I know is a little full-on but I just want to leave my imprint

 

My friends say they want to skip getting to know someone and just be in love

I absolutely don't understand

I want to get to know her

I want to get to know her for the rest of my life

I don't want to skip a single moment

I don't want to miss a single breath, a single word, a single tear

 

I want to know everything that’s ever gone through her head

Every moment of fear and every moment of elation

How she came out

How she picked her breakfast

I want everything

Everything that she is willing to give me

She is so goddamn beautiful

And I don’t think she knows that

Which is a crime

A fucking crime

Because she should know that she makes a room brighter by walking into it

She made my life brighter by walking into it

 

And even if she’s never actually mine in any real way

I just think it’s a travesty that she doesn’t know how _hot_ she is

In a deeper sense than that probably makes it sound

I'm not just attracted to her physically

Just talking to her makes me warm and tingly and even though I’m the first to admit to generally being confused I have no confusion about her

She just heats up my life

Makes me want to  _live_ it in a way I hadn't realized I didn't feel before her

She doesn’t know she’s doing it she just has that effect on me

And I wouldn’t trade something easy and unambiguous with someone else for how she makes me feel

Not for a second

I know pursuing her is complicated, maybe even hopeless

But no one else even exists right now

And I don’t have words to describe exactly why

It’s just that _she_ is what I want

And I know other people are out there

But she’s everything I want

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading, let me know what you think and feel free to ask me about things or point out any mistakes and stuff.  
> Have a lovely day!


End file.
